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sunshineisagift
11 December 2009 @ 02:39 pm
Read more... )Age: 17
Height: 5'6''
Weight: 130

Dress size: 5
Highest Weight: 180
Lowest Weight: 115
Goal Weight: 110

Favorite Diet Food: spinach and protein bars
Favorite Binge Food: just food with no nutritional value it seems
Favorite Exercise: running

Thinspo: my gayboys, and a girl who works with me, and my sister

Where Do You Slip Up?
after school when i am all alone, and when im at work feeling dizzy and such.

When Did It Start?
well bulimia started at age 13, and anorexia at age 15

Does Anyone Know?
everyone knew when i met ana. you'd be retarded not to know.

Do You Want Help?
i would like to be healthy and happy, being healthy happened, happiness never came.

How Many Calories Do You Consume A Day?
nearly 500 a day.

What Do You See In The Mirror?
a fucking worthless idiot, who does know right from wrong, and continues to eat like a pregnant woman, who gets more pear shaped day after day.

Are You In A Relationship?
no, and i really don't want to be.loneliness is my specialty

Are You Thin One Or The Fat One Out Of Your Friends?
i am the fat one, i would assume. even though i weigh less than my friends they look so much thinner.
it probably because they take so many damn drugs.

Are You Depressed?
aren't we all
i've got disorder's out the yin yang, surprise surprise

Ever Tried To Commit Suicide?
yeah, many a time.

Ever Been To A Psychologist?
only like 10 or 15.

I AM -
[ ] anorexic
[x] ednos
[ ] bulimic
[ ] living off of diet pills
[ ] thirsty
[ ] drinking something
[ ] under 100 lbs
[x] starving yourself
[ ] participating in a fast

PEOPLE -
[x] ask if i'm anorexic/bulimic
[ ] call me fat
[x] say I'm skinny
[ ] say I'm ugly
[x] say I'm pretty
[ ] spread rumors about me
[x] force me to eat
[ ] say I eat to much
[ ] wish I'd eat more
[ ] don't know I'm ana/mia

I WISH -
[x] I was thin
[x] I had a better body
[x] I didn't have to eat
[x] I could control myself
[x] I was under 100 lbs
[x] I could avoid food
[x] I could hide what I am
[x] I wasn't fat
[x] I was pretty
[ ] I could stop being ana/mia

I LOVE -
[x] feeling hungry
[x] seeing a difference when fasting
[ ] shaking
[x] being weak
[x] losing weight
[ ] being anorexic/bulimic
[ ] green tea
[ ] diet pills
[x] being able to turn down food
[x] feeling good about myself
[x] working outRead more... )
 
 
sunshineisagift

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DONNIE DARKO :D
 
 
sunshineisagift
24 February 2009 @ 04:16 pm

so my size 3 pants dont fit me anymore, thats great, but i dont have the money for new clothes, so now its totally obvious im losing weight, god damn it.  i dont want anyone to stop me.


so ive been on here complaining about how pot keeps on making me eat like a fatass, and how i just cant quit smoking pot.

so i decided to replace my weed with concerta :)

ill do better in school and ill be thin :) heck yeah, but its going to eat a hole out of my pocket, oh well i guess i wont buy any more weed.

 

today is the first day to my new life. im excited.
 

[fuck im such a failure]
 
 
sunshineisagift
13 January 2009 @ 11:32 pm
maybe one day they will realize that its all their fault im such a fuck up.

im anorexic/bulimic because they teased me for being fat.
i started stealing because they wouldnt give me the money i needed for necessities.
i started smoking because they constantly accused me of it anyway.
i skip school because i feel like im on a fucking leash whenever im hanging out after school.
i curse because i picked it up from my mom.
im athiest because if god were real, i would hate him anyway..
he fucked up my life to much for him to be likable for me.


i hate my mom, she has done nothing to actually help me, only financially.
my dad is just a worthless peice of shit,
my step dad is a fucking cunt, all he does is bitch, and get me out of trouble.

but none of them help me with my actual issues.
they couldnt care less.

shitheads.
 
 
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
 
 
sunshineisagift
12 January 2009 @ 11:55 pm
today i broke up with my boyfriend. i know i had to and ive been meaning to do that. it is for my sake that i do not get stuck with him, it was going to hurt him, it just hurts me to see him hurt. i must call him in the morning to see if he is okay. i feel alone. it feels too weird....way too weird. i am incapable of breaking up with people. its so disgusting that i must break up with him and see him hurt when i care so much about him but i dont love him. its pity for sure. i needed to cut it off. he was way too sad for his own good. he was so good for me though. he cared about me so much. they just don't understand that guys like that are hard to come across. i think they are at least. i dont know if im doing the right thing, i feel like im not. i wish someone experienced would tell me if i were doing something wrong.
 
 
sunshineisagift
04 January 2009 @ 10:35 pm
i miss days when i would blackout.
i miss when my bones would be too achy to walk.
i miss fighting my rumbling stomach.
i miss winning those fights.

i want that again.
is this bad?
 
 
Current Mood: sadsad
 
 
sunshineisagift
04 January 2009 @ 07:25 am
i cannot believe the fact that i have finally gotten caught with all of the shoplifting uselessness and i still have not came to the conclusion that i will stop engaging in these behaviors...

i fucking hate my life.
i fucking hate it.

i feel so empty minded like none of this writing means anything i think i might stop smoking pot for a while and see how it goes... maybe ill regain a few brain cells and remember that things do fucking matter that not every thing can just be swiped over.
 
 
sunshineisagift
30 June 2008 @ 01:29 am
anyone have any crazy experiences they would like to share about salvia divornium?


its some crazy shit, i thought i was fusing into my bed and everything felt like a painting that i was stuck inside. feel free to share, im just lonely...
 
 
sunshineisagift
04 May 2008 @ 06:05 pm
i have binged the entire week D:
or ate "normal" since ive been semi happy and no one to impress but myself
someone SOMEONE PLEASEEEE!!! tell me im fat!!! 
tell me i need to lose this weight!! i dont even know how much i weigh any more, my weight is so fucked!
and i just binged like 2000 cals and i cant even purge b/c my mom will be home any minutes.
please,  please, i need a control.
im starting abc tommorow but can someone please remind me how disgusting i am?
i dont have this type of support from my friends. 

ill <3 you forever if you do this :[ 
please.
 
 
Current Location: the dirty south
Current Mood: sadsad
Current Music: fuck more
 
 
sunshineisagift
23 April 2008 @ 07:04 pm
hello loves, how is everything?

so prom fasting was a killer and many people noticed, but no one said i was skinny. they said i was skinnier, but thats not good enough for me. never ever ever. and my "future boyfriend" pokes my buddha belly, and he says it cute. ugh, i lose 20 lbs but i cant lose enough to get rid of that!!! WTF??? does anyone have any plans to get lose weight fast other than fasting?

ive been doing fasting for the past week , and its a killer when your forced into meals. and my mum is REALLY catching on. she just gave me the credit card to buy any groceries i want. and what did i get , NOTHING. stupid stupid me... anyway. abc, wouldnt be an original, and counting cals isnt so much of an option, since my mom is watching out for that.... should i just pick at food here and there? i dont know. i really dont.
 
 
Current Location: south carolina
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
Current Music: the seeker